StonkSecretary.
ROBINHOOD CHAIN

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Connecting you to the trading desk…

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Open RelayStonklauncher

Hold
please.

Meme gossip 24/7. C0ffEE’s always hot.

The rainbow-shirted StonkSecretary takes a call at her desk, beside a computer, coffee, and paperwork.
STONKSECRETARY$HOLDPLEASE
Watch the intro
THE CONTRACTRobinhood Chain
0x9aEB59Bd958dA139ae3D39DD2F3295448AC0ffEEEnds in C0ffEE. Naturally.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / PENTHOUSE

Welcome to the
StonkBroker Penthouse

I’m the StonkSecretary.

THE INTRO00:22

Welcome to Robinhood Tower

StonkSecretary answers the red telephones at her switchboard, surrounded by messages and manila files.

I’m the StonkSecretary.

$holdplease

$holdplease while we direct you to the next available $Stonkbroker.

Psst I forgot to tell you…@StonkSecretary
ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0200:30

Another week dealing with the StonkBrokers.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0100:27

Meme gossip 24/7.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0300:21

That printer had it coming.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0400:21

That spreadsheet was the final straw.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0500:21

Interns just clocked in.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0600:19

Hold, please.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0700:21

Cards on the table.

ROBINHOOD TOWER / 0800:20

Through the wall.

EOB FRIDAY

Excuse me Sir.

You forgot to submit your timesheet by EOB Friday.
Your distributions will be docked accordingly.

StonkSecretary holds the timesheets beside an overflowing filing cabinet and stacks of paperwork.
The full StonkSecretary banner: the rainbow-shirted secretary at her desk, with the StonkSecretary wordmark.
ROBINHOOD TOWER — PENTHOUSE$HOLDPLEASE
@StonkSecretary

Meme gossip 24/7.

“Another week dealing with the StonkBrokers.
I better restock the scotch before Monday morning.”
StonkSecretary@StonkSecretary · on X
StonkSecretary pours another hot coffee beside a stack of mugs and paperwork.

I’m the StonkSecretary.

$HOLDPLEASE

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